Pillow Fight
by Shining Zephyr
Summary: Heat waves in Miami can blow things completely out of proportion...


**-moans- Oh, the humanity. Shining Zephyr is doing a… CRACK FIC!?! Yes. Don't shoot me, but this is a silly and rather stupid one-shot that came to mind as I was talking to a friend. **

**Thank goodness I don't own CSI: ****Miami****. Seeing this on the TV might've given you a heart attack…** **

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Pillow Fight

Another boring day in the lab.

Another few hours to waste away at the computer and simply stare at the undersea screensaver for another case to shine through.

A boring day that would turn into something more random than muffins being placed on your desk…

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Hot, humid, sticky, disgusting- there were merely four of the words that could describe over a thousand feelings the Miami Dade Crime Lab was feeling that July 20. It was only 11:00 in the morning, and there were still no cases that showed up on Horatio's desk as he stared at the picture on his desk of a beautiful Columbian and her eight year old son. Silence reigned in the office as he wheeled around slowly and sighed, rubbing his temples. Another heat wave, another emotional rampage…

…by a certain brunette that seemed to skulk around the lab more often than not nowadays. Even when he was not on a case and none of his teammates were being blamed for wrongdoing, Rick Stetler had a terribly annoying habit of poking his head in these days. Horatio was tired by it, to say the least. Tired was an understatement- _the_ understatement of the century. He was _ticked off. _

_Immensely._

And the heat only made everything worse.

Horatio stood up, fingering his sunglasses by the earpieces and sticking them in his outside pocket of his jacket. This was becoming a pain. Stetler's whiny voice rang in his ears as he worked his way to the front of the room. Anger bubbled in him like hot water on the stove. He finally stopped and leaned on the desk, arm propped on the hard linoleum. "Agent Stetler."

The male whirled around, forest green eyes flaming. "YOU!"

"Me," Horatio replied mildly. "What the heck has slithered down you backside, Rick?"

Rick Stetler pointed at the bathroom. "The soap dispenser is broken, the bathroom smells of sewage, and I have to go! And the air conditioning in this place is broken! What do you _think_ is wrong, Horatio?!"

The redhead's eyes narrowed. "Besides you making a huge racket in the building? How about the fact we're going through a heat wave?"

"Yeah. Besides that!"

Horatio motioned Rick to follow him. "I've got something I want to show you, Rick."

The man grumbled irritably. "This had better be good."

Horatio led Rick to a closet with various items inside and shut the door. There was a muffled _thud!_

"_What the heck was that for?!?" _

The door was opened. Feathers flew out into the clearing as Rick held a pillow in front of him. Horatio walked out, a large king-side pillow in his fist. His eyes sparkled with glee. "I've wanted to do this for a while, Rick."

With a resounding _smack,_ he brought the pillow square across Stetler's middle body. He yelped with surprise, whirling around and smacking his enemy with the queen size pillow. Feathers suddenly erupted from both fluffy weapons, and a full-fledged pillow fight suddenly started between the duo. Onlookers stopped whatever they were doing and observed this outrageous scuffle with snickers.

One employee went so far as to taking out her cell phone and recording the fight of wills and fluff between the sergeant and lieutenant. Her name was Natalia Boa Vista. She shook with laughter. "You don't see this every day," she whispered into the phone.

_Bam._ Stetler's voice sounded muffled as a pillow smacked him in the face. "Why do we even _have_ pillows in the lab, Horatio?! They're forbidden in a crime lab!"

"Does it say that in the crime lab hand book?" Horatio asked calmly before getting slammed below the waist.

A roar of pain escaped his lips. _That_ was not supposed to hurt.

Horatio was hot, tired, annoyed, and angry at the feathers gathering in the lab. He brought the pillow in Stetler with all his strength. Natalia closed her eyes…

_SMACK! _

The pillow burst into a storm of feathers and cotton as Horatio stared at the spot where Stetler had once stood. Rick was now on the floor, blinking with shock and surprise. The lab merely stood there for several tense seconds before a loud cheer erupted from within the confines of the office. The lieutenant merely grinned and threw down what was left of the 'weapon' and stared at Rick. "Useful things pillows can be, hm?" he asked casually.

"How the-"

Horatio merely slipped on his sunglasses and gave the man a look. "It's hot in here, Rick. Be a good sergeant and fix the air conditioner."

There was a loud _thud_ in the hallway.

It can't be said for sure, but rumor has it that Stetler either fainted from heat exhaustion, being smacked in the kisser by a pillow, or the mere fact of fixing an air conditioner for the Crime Lab.

Natalia now claims it's because she got the entire pillow fight and uploaded it to YouTube. "Pillow Fight Involving Two Very Hot Men."

And no, she doesn't mean _that _sort of thing.

Horatio wiped his forehead. It was hot in the lab that day.

Stupid heat wave…

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**What the heck just happened? A _completely pointless plot, that's what!_ YAY for crack! Reviews are appreciated! Thanks for reading. **


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